Log Line: After discovering how to time travel for the first time in human history, one girl must rediscover how she was able to accomplish it in the first place.
Background or glow of flower is too thick, maybe more transparency and follow the contours of the flower rather than using an oval. Shorten time it takes to put flower down. Slow down her walk to screen right. Action seems deliberate. Perhaps she drops the flower rather than places it. Her look might be somewhere else rather than at the guy and then she does a reaction shot as he appears. Shot where her arm is showing might be scaled differently, if you end up keeping it. Maybe she’s sitting the whole time from beginning to end. This would allow you to finesse environment and background more. Her extreme close up might come after he moves toward her, to register "falling in love." Keep finishing a rough version before making timing etc. changes, and leave time to correct later.
Background or glow of flower is too thick, maybe more transparency and follow the contours of the flower rather than using an oval. Shorten time it takes to put flower down. Slow down her walk to screen right. Action seems deliberate. Perhaps she drops the flower rather than places it. Her look might be somewhere else rather than at the guy and then she does a reaction shot as he appears. Shot where her arm is showing might be scaled differently, if you end up keeping it. Maybe she’s sitting the whole time from beginning to end. This would allow you to finesse environment and background more. Her extreme close up might come after he moves toward her, to register "falling in love." Keep finishing a rough version before making timing etc. changes, and leave time to correct later.
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